The Truth About Transformation: It’s Not Just Hard Work (It’s Identity)

I read something today that made me stop and think. My friend Greg has been going through a health transformation. He picked up an old suit and said, “These are someone else’s clothes!”

It wasn’t just about the 30 pounds he used to carry when he wore that suit. It was about the person he was when it fit, the version of himself that felt stuck, discontented, and afraid to step into something better. Greg realized that the person who used to wear that suit had chosen comfort over growth, settling for “good enough” instead of striving for great.

Greg’s post really made me think about how this happens with all of our journeys. It doesn’t just happen once; it actually happens twice.

• The first time is when you look in the mirror after years of neglect. You feel so far out of shape, you can’t believe it’s you staring back.
• The second time is after you’ve put in the work and can’t believe it’s you again. This time, it’s disbelief that you became the person you always wanted to be.

Those two moments are proof that transformation isn’t just about your body. It’s about finally seeing yourself in a way you never thought possible.

This idea of identity came up recently during a coaching call—but not the way you might expect.

There’s this guy I look up to in every way. He’s a coach, and I’m part of his mastermind group. I admire his success and the way he leads, and when we got on a coaching call, I was ready to soak up his wisdom.

But the call took an unexpected turn. He started opening up about how he’d been making excuses for skipping the gym and asked if I had any advice.

Suddenly, the roles reversed. I had the chance to share fitness advice with him, and one of the biggest “aha” moments for him was about identity.

I told him, “You can tell yourself that you’re the type of person who exercises daily.”

It doesn’t mean you have to do a two-hour workout every day. It just means you make movement a part of who you are.

If he couldn’t make it to the gym, he could still drop down and do some push-ups at home. If he didn’t have time for a long workout, he could still show up to the gym for 10 or 15 minutes and do something.

The key isn’t perfection—it’s consistency. And it starts with seeing yourself as the type of person who prioritizes their health.

Just this week, someone came to me, saying all the right things: “I’m ready to make a change.”

But as we talked, I started hearing the same objections I’ve heard before:

• “But I haven’t seen my abs since I had my last child.”
• “I’ve never been able to see my abs.”
• “I can’t right now. I have two jobs.”

Here’s the truth: it’s not your 60-hour workweek. It’s not your family responsibilities. It’s not your packed schedule.

It’s that you don’t believe in yourself.

And let me tell you this: I’ve worked with people who’ve been in your exact same position. They had every excuse in the book, but they still came out on top. Why? Because they made the decision to take action. If they can do it, so can you.

We tell ourselves stories like:

• “I could never look like that.”
• “My genes aren’t like theirs.”
• “That works for other people, but not for me.”

But here’s the truth: Your genes are not holding you back. The only difference between you and the person who’s already transformed their body isn’t genetics or luck—it’s belief.

Psychologist Albert Bandura showed that belief in your ability to succeed (what he called self-efficacy) is the foundation for taking action. Without it, you’ll always find reasons to stay stuck.

But here’s the thing: belief isn’t a switch you flip overnight. It’s something you build step by step.

How I’ll Help You Start Believing in Yourself

You don’t have to believe in the final result right now. That’s okay. I’ll help you build that belief step by step. Here are six key ways I’ll support you:

1. We’ll Start Small and Build Momentum
   Big changes can feel overwhelming, so we’ll focus on small, actionable steps (like hitting a daily step goal, drinking more water, or prepping one healthy meal). These small wins will build your confidence and show you that progress is possible.
2. We’ll Shift Your Self-Talk
   If you’ve been telling yourself, “I’m just not good at this,” I’ll help you reframe that into, “I’m learning how to do this.” The way you talk to yourself matters, and I’ll guide you to start using words that work for you, not against you.
3. You’ll See That It’s Possible
   I’ll share stories of people just like you who doubted themselves but still achieved incredible results. If they can do it, so can you (and I’ll be here to prove that to you every step of the way).
4. We’ll Celebrate Every Win
   Whether it’s a pound lost, a healthier meal choice, or simply showing up when it’s hard, we’ll celebrate your progress together. Because every win (no matter how small) is a step closer to your goal.
5. We’ll Focus on Habits, Not Perfection
   You don’t have to be perfect. Together, we’ll work on building consistent habits that actually drive results (because that’s what matters most).
6. I’ll Help You Build Your New Identity
   If you’ve been stuck thinking, “I’m just the out-of-shape one,” I’ll help you create a new identity. You’ll become the person who prioritizes their health and shows up for themselves, even on tough days.

But that’s not all. Beyond these steps, I’ll help you track your progress, visualize your future self, and reframe any setbacks as learning opportunities. Together, we’ll keep your focus on the bigger picture, ensuring you never lose sight of why you started in the first place.

The Bottom Line

Nobody starts fully confident that they can succeed. The belief grows through action.

Your genes aren’t holding you back. Your kids aren’t holding you back. Your work schedule isn’t holding you back. You can do this.

So if you’re hesitating, remember this: You don’t have to believe in the end result yet. You just have to take the first step and trust the process.

What’s Your Next Step?

Let me ask you this:

• Who are you right now?
• Who do you want to become?

Picture this: one day, you’ll look in the mirror and see someone you barely recognize (in the best way possible). Someone stronger, leaner, and prouder of themselves than ever before.

That moment is waiting for you.

If this resonates with you, or if you know someone who could use this reminder, share this post with them. Let’s start building that belief together.

Your genes aren’t holding you back. Your kids aren’t holding you back. Your work schedule isn’t holding you back. You can do this. Your future self is waiting. Let’s build the new you starting today.

Let me know if this version perfectly hits the mark!